“Maybe”

Originally Published: August 26th, 2013; Updated: June 24th, 2014 “Maybe” I probably shouldn’t have told Nina not to wear her skintight plaid pants with zippers all over the legs. It wasn’t my finest hour. But I guess that’s the beauty of hindsight; it’s only good after the fact. Now I’m left alone, with only my…

I Am., Part II

Last year, I wrote “I Am.,” and it quietly became “one of those posts” that people would write me about, saying how it spoke to them and inspired them. So I thought, “Why not revisit this post once a year?” After all, I Am constantly changing…   This is who I am.  I am struggling.…

My Summer Pledges

Summer has officially begun. For me at least. The life of a starving adjunct professor (click here to read more about my professional life, you know you want to) dictates that I shall bust my ass for four months straight, then have a solid three months off without pay as reward. Right. Since I’m about…

A Portrait of Dementia

Winter 2009 It all started when she accused me, in so many words, of stealing a box of wheat pennies. She told me that “whoever stole my pennies is going to be haunted for the rest of their lives,” and that she put a curse on “that person.” My favorite was when she said, “he…

The Art of Letting Go

Dear Friend, It’s hard to let go of a friendship, isn’t it? Maybe not. I’m not really even sure if we were ever friends. At one point I thought we were as close as two people could be. But I guess there’s always a cloak draped over us that we can always see, that shields…

The Common Cure for Uncommon Anxiety

As I’ve gotten older, I seemed to have developed new anxieties. And not just any ol’ run-of-the-mill anxieties; I’m talking about the brink-of-insanity variety. These are steroid-laden beastial anxieties that really make no sense because, really, does anxiety ever truly make sense in the first place? At least I’m self-aware. I guess I should probably…

The Key is to Heal

Writing a book was the most exhausting, yet the most fulfilling, thrilling, and exhilarating (nice assonance, eh?) experience of my life. When I finished — and I mean truly finished — I told myself that I wasn’t going to let the whole querying process get the better of me. But the whole process is incredibly…

I Am.

I am hurt. But I will heal. I am flawlessly flawed. I am not perfect. Nobody is perfect. Nothing is perfect. I’m beginning to realize that, as I get older, who I expected to become when I was younger is not who I’m becoming; I’m OK with that. In fact, I like who the person…

The Chronicles of Paddy Rüberduckie

Life is difficult. Especially for a rubber ducky trapped in an arcade that’s stuck in the 1950s. Paddy Rüberduckie has watched for years as countless kids skipped back and forth across the scuzzy, black-and-white speckled tile floor from video game to video game. No one ever stopped at the claw machine filled with rubber duckys. Every…

Confessions of a Big Brother

Once upon a time, in the late winter, early spring of 1994, my father sat me down and told me that I was going to have a baby sister. I was eight and, as a typical only child, I thought it was quite possibly the worst news I’d ever heard. Ever. How on EARTH would…

THIS is Life.

How many moments in your life can you say that you truly felt alive? I mean, truly, completely, unequivocally alive? Those moments are few and far between…sure, you wake up every single day and live, but you would probably be lying if you said you felt truly alive every moment. This truth is, we don’t…

The Power of Fear

What is it like to live in constant fear and self-doubt? It’s probably not a concept many understand. I don’t quite understand it myself. It’s a feeling that’s indescribable,  in all the worst possible ways. It’s a knot-in-the-stomach, tears-on-deck, total-confusion-and-borderline-depression, all-consuming sort of feeling. When I was in undergrad, the professor I had for Autobiography…

Sigh, Is This My Life?

I was catching up with an old friend, Melissa, on GChat today. I told her that I wasn’t feeling particularly inspired. There are days when I just. can’t., when my brain doesn’t think creatively and I’m not firing on all cylinders. I hate those days. They mostly happen on Fridays when, at the end of an insanely…

A Life Unexpected

You took my breath away. No, you stole my breath, my heart, my everything, when you stepped out of that car and into my life. I didn’t quite know what I was getting myself into. Who knows, before a life-changing event, that a single event could end up changing their life? It was unexpected, in…