What Doesn’t Kill Me … Will Make Me CRAZY

When I began blogging again, I declared that I would chronicle my journey to bookstore shelves; that’s exactly what I intend to do…you know, in the spirit of honesty.

I got my first two rejection letters yesterday!

I have a friend who always says that one more rejection is one step closer toward finding that ONE agent who is willing to take a chance and BELIEVE in my work.

Thank you, Kelly. I needed that.

All it takes is ONE, right?

One agent.

One ring to rule them all…

Where was I? Oh, yes, my wonderful rejection letters. In order to protect the agency, I have omitted any names. Also, I have decided to add my own commentary.

Sit back and relax and enjoy Query Rejection #1:

Dear Author: [Don’t you just love how personalized this greeting is?!?! It’s like a warm hug!] 

Thank you so much for sending the INSERT AGENCY NAME HERE your query. We’d like to apologize for the impersonal nature of this standard rejection letter [Oh, now this is already off to a WONDERFUL start…]. On average, we receive nearly 500 email query letters a week [I read that many student emails each week] and despite that, we do read each and every query letter carefully.  Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. [But…but…MINE IS THE BEST. Right? Excuse me, I have to go to the liquor store for survival supplies. #BRB]Because this business is so subjective and opinions vary widely, we recommend that you pursue other agents. After all, it just takes one “yes” to find the right match. 

Good luck with all your publishing endeavors [#SorryWe’reNotSorry]

That was fun!

My soul is only mildly crushed. But it’s ok, it’s ok. I will survive. At first I was afraid, I was petrified. But I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna give up, I’m gonna survive, and keep on surviving because there’s a hero, when I look inside my heart and I don’t have to be afraid of what I am. 

Do you see what’s happening to me? I’m spouting Gloria Gaynor-Destiny’s Child-Mariah Carey lyrics. I’m short-circuiting.

I just need to breathe.

I’m well aware that finding an agent is a tiresome process. It takes a lot of patience (which I don’t have), and lots of wine (which I will be purchasing at some point today).

I believe in my book. I just want an agent to believe in it just as much as I do.

Is that too much to ask?

The second letter is a bit more personalized, so it’s not as fun to pick apart. I mean, if you’re going to send me a rejection letter, I’d prefer they’d either be:

  1. Personal and showing that, you know, they actually read my letter and/or pages. At least indicate that you know my name and the title of my manuscript.


  1. They be completely devoid of any indications that my submission was read at all. This way I can pick it apart on here.

Two rejections closer to publication.

If you need me, you can find me obsessively hitting the refresh button on G-Mail.







Things just got interesting.

6 thoughts on “What Doesn’t Kill Me … Will Make Me CRAZY

  1. Sorry for that — but your friend is right too. Getting a rejection letter just means you are trying hard. Nothing to be ashamed of.

    I’d love to know how many rejection letters the first books of authors that went on to be considered the greatest ever received. I’m guessing it’s a lot more than two of them on average.

    • Thanks Robbie!

      Yeah…every author has a stack of rejection letters. I have an folder in my email dedicated to all the rejections I’ve received since 2009. JK Rowling’s Harry Potter was rejected by like 20-something people…dumbasses. haha

      Each rejection is one step toward an acceptance.

  2. Ahhh last summer I went on an agent-querying binge with my book proposal (I was querying without a finished manuscript… WHO DID I THINK I WAS?!) and reading your experiences here is making me remember all too well the emotions that went along with the process. I agree that rejections are all blessings along the way until we are guided to the perfect match!

    • Oh man! You queried an unfinished ms?? That’s like Don’t #1!

      But it’s all a learning process. And you’re talented enough that, once your book is complete, an agent would be crazy to pass you up!

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